Forgotten Theatres

Then, of course, don’t forget all the stage theatres. Stage is superior to film, because it cannot be cropped or misframed, it cannot catch in the gate or break in mid-show. The image cannot be scratched. It does not motorboat or keystone, it does not go out of focus, and no reflector will hot-spot the image. A wrong reel is never substituted, heads are never shortened or lengthened, and there are never jumps where someone removed a chunk of the story. It does not jitter or weave, hooked teeth don’t tear its sprocket holes, its shutter is never out of time, its change-overs are always perfect, it cannot be overspeeded or underspeeded, and its splices are always invisible. Unfortunately, stage does share a few problems common to nearly all films: It is generally badly written, badly acted, and badly designed. I guess there’s nothing anybody can ever do about that. The Albuquerque Opera House (13 June 1882–21 July 1883, equivalent of 203 Central Ave NW) was likely the first theatre in Albuquerque. It reopened for a single night on 15 September 1883 and then went dark. It was renamed the Palace Theatre on 4 July 1884, its final show was a mere eight days later, on 12 July 1884, and demolition of the auditorium and stage began nine days after that, on 21 July 1884. Yet there were theatricals prior to the Albuquerque Opera House. Specifically, they were at Armijo Hall, which I assume was the banquet room in the Armijo House hotel (equivalent of 306 Central Ave SW). That was not the beginning, though, not at all. Prior to that, there were Spanish-language theatricals. What they were, where they were held, and when, I do not know. There’s a heck of a lot of research to do.

Does anybody remember Angus A. Grant’s Opera House (20 November 1883–18 June 1898), the Palace Theatre (21 September 1883–14 November 1883), Orchestrion Hall in Old Town (circa August 1895–1906); the Traction Park Casino Theatre (circa 1905?–1906?); the short-lived Perkins Hall (Lead Avenue between 3rd and 4th Streets, a division of the Albuquerque Academy, opened 30 December 1890, not to be confused with the replacement Perkins Hall, housed inside the Raynolds Library Building on East Railroad Avenue), The New Academy of Music (19 March 1893–circa early 1895, housed in the offices of the Albuquerque Democrat newspaper), McClure’s Opera House aka New Albuquerque Theatre aka New Opera House aka George K. Neher’s Opera House (225 3rd St NW, 23 Aug 1899 – 23 Mar 1901). I would have thought someone by now would have written the definitive history of theatre and cinema in Albuquerque — but, then, no, why would I have thought that? Albuquerqueans care nothing for this part of their history. Nothing. Less than nothing. I started writing a book on the topic, which I thought was a good idea, because the people who detested me are almost all dead by now, but I had to stop when too many other things got in the way. Perhaps I should finish some year, but then, perhaps not, because not a single person anywhere would read it. Sales would be zero. What’s the point? If someone else were to write the book, I guarantee that there would be one single sale.